Hidden Talents
by still too old for this
Summary: A normal day at Titans Tower. The doorbell rings and a visitor has a request for Robin to solve a mystery puzzling the scientific community. Who is the mysterious person revolutionizing biology and physiology with his papers?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own, nor will I ever own, the Teen Titans. Although I do own a few of their comic books. OK, I own a lot of their comic books, satisfied.

Hidden Talents – Part 1

Dawn, definitely the quietest, most tranquil time of the day. Most folks who break the law tend to do it either at night or later in the day. Very few villains operate in the early morning. For some reason, evil plans hatch during the evening and the necessary preparations to put them into action occur during the night. Consequently, by daybreak, villains are asleep, waiting for the afternoon to put their nefarious plans into action.

So it was a perfect time for Robin to be doing paperwork.

It was also helpful that Beast Boy was still asleep. Robin needed very little sleep. Cyborg only needed a set number of hours to recharge, which he usually did when everyone else was asleep. He didn't need to, but generally did so that his interactions with his friends could be something approaching normal. Raven mediated a lot, this reduced her need for sleep. Her mind relaxed partially through mediation and, therefore, the need for dreaming was lessened.

She didn't like dreaming much anyway. Her dreams were not pleasant, to say the least.

Starfire's metabolism operated differently than human beings. Robin, although trained by a master detective, never could figure out the actual sleep cycle that Starfire's body operated under. Sometimes, she slept for several hours, sometime several minutes. Once she slept for three days. Of course, that was after she made the Pudding of Restfulness, so that might have had something to do with it. Robin just assumed she slept when she needed to and left it at that.

Then, there was Beast Boy. Sometimes he slept at night, sometimes during the day. Never for less than eight hours, seldom more than ten. Robin assumed it had to do with the various animal DNA that had been injected into his system. Some animals were nocturnal, some were not. Still, you took advantage of those times when Beast Boy was asleep to take care of mundane tasks.

Otherwise, nothing would get done. The problem was that whenever BB was around, things happened. He was a catalyst. The four other Titans could be in the same room, quietly, thinking, reading, watching TV, whatever. However, once you added BB to the mix, things happened. Arguments, shouting, explosions (usually from Raven), laughter and any variety of weird occurrences. It wasn't particularly that Beast Boy _tried_ to cause chaos, he just did. He attracted chaos like a magnet and brought the rest of the team with him. Truth be told, he was a lot of fun and brought a lot of enjoyment to their lives. Even if Raven refused to admit it.

So Robin did the necessary paperwork in the morning when everyone, especially Beast Boy, was asleep.

Regardless, it was early in the morning. Robin was doing paperwork, drinking coffee, going over bills, wondering how the electric bill could keep rising every month when nothing new was being used and the Titans were out fighting crime half the day. No one could watch that much television. There weren't enough hours in the day.

A rather large, hulking mass staggered through the doorway. It made several strange noises, a number of creaking sounds and made its way to the coffee. Cyborg was up. Although he would eat a huge breakfast (as well as a huge lunch, afternoon snack, dinner and late night pick me up), the first thing he needed in the morning was coffee. Without that, he wouldn't talk or interact with anyone, that was one thing Cyborg and Robin had in common. Both were coffee fiends. Raven drank tea, Starfire drank water and mustard. Beast Boy was kept away from ANYTHING that had caffeine in it. He was hyper enough. Hopped up on caffeine, he might break the sound barrier. But Cyborg needed his coffee before he started eating.

"mrng Rbn"

"Morning Cyborg"

"Good morning friends. Is it not a glorious sun filled day. A day full of joy and happiness. What shall we begin with? Friend Cyborg, are you making the fast of break?" Starfire flew into the room, happy as always and ready for the day. Robin's face broke into a smile at the sight of the girl he was more than thrilled to spend his free (and not so free) time with. He likes her, she likes him and they like to spend their days together.

What, you thing because he's serious he's an idiot? I said he was a detective. He knows how he feels, he knows how she feels. He knows the situation between them. Shyness does not mean he's an idiot. Well, not completely, anyway.

"Kill me." Said Cyborg. "I haven't had my coffee and Star's up 15 minutes too early. I NEED my coffee before I'm ready for happy."

"Star, why don't you see if Raven is up yet? Maybe she would like some breakfast as well." Robin suggested to Starfire.

"As you say, friend Robin. She is often awake at this time. I will check her room and then the roof to see if she wishes to join us." With that, Starfire flew out of the doorway towards Raven's room.

"There, that bought you ten minutes. By the time she finds Raven and convinces her to come down here, you'll have time to fuel up. I suggest you get started." Robin smirked.

"Thanks bro'. I owe you one."

"Actually, you now own me 47. Believe me, I'm keeping count. And I WILL cash in at the most inopportune time for you. "

Cyborg started muttering behind his back. It sounded faintly obscene, so Robin decided not to pursue the subject anymore. Meanwhile, Cyborg poured himself a large cup of coffee, added a couple of teaspoons of sugar (it had been hidden behind the mustard. Sugar was something else Beast Boy was not allowed to have) and drank half of it in one gulp. You never knew when Star would come back.

It turned out to be a good decision. Starfire was back much quicker than expected with Raven.

"Wonderful news my friends. Friend Raven was already awake and making her way here for her morning tea." Starfire practically gushed with excitement. She flew around the room several times, up to the ceiling once and then made a perfect landing on one of the kitchen stools, balanced on one foot. She then plopped down onto the seat and began to pour the mustard Cyborg left out into a glass.

"Morning everyone." Raven said in her normal monotone. "I see Beast Boy has not graced us with his presence yet. Anyone have an idea how long the peace will last? How much time do I have before I need to escape?" Robin rolled his eyes at this statement. He knew Raven truly liked BB, probably more than as a "friend" (detective, remember). However, she had an image to maintain and emotions to keep bottled up. BB was, at times, a strain on regular folks. He could only image how that whirlwind affected Raven's emotions.

"No idea Raven. According to the computer, he seems to have finally conked out about 2:30 last night. At least that's when his computer shut down and the lights went off." Robin replied.

"That doesn't help. Is he currently on a nocturnal cycle? He might be up any minute."

"DUDES! It's tofu time!"

"Speak of the devil."

"Aww, come on Rae. Devil's are red, not an adorable green like I am."

"I'm color blind."

At that, Beast Boy burst into laughter. Robin gave a bit of a smile. Raven, when she wanted to, had a marvelous dry wit and, like BB, Robin found her extremely funny. He just wouldn't go overboard like BB did. For one thing, he wasn't the belly laugh type. For another, he didn't want to be thrown against the wall as Raven seemed about to do. Correction, like she just did.

Meanwhile, Cyborg continued to stare into his coffee cup, wincing at BB's laughter and Starfire looked confused. Apparently, Robin would have to explain to her (later) about color blindness in humans.

"Robin, what.."

"I'll explain later Starfire."

It was a perfectly normal morning at Titans Tower. Then the doorbell rang.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own, nor will I ever own, the Teen Titans. Although I do own a few of their comic books. OK, I own a lot of their comic books, satisfied. Oh, I also own dvds of all five seasons. And am extremely annoyed at a lack of a sixth season.

Hidden Talents - Part 2

"The Alarm!" yelled Robin.

"Robin, that's the doorbell." Interjected Raven, before Robin could get all worked up. He had a tendency to assume any loud buzzing, ringing or bonging was the alarm. Understandable in this case as the doorbell ringing was a very rare occurrence.

"Doorbell? Who'd ring our doorbell? Come to think of it, who ever comes here without it being a villain or another Titan?" mused Cyborg. "We didn't order pizza this early in the day….BEAST BOY!!!"

"Dude, I swear it wasn't me. There's still more in the fridge and I'd finish it off before ordering more. Hey, maybe it's girl scouts. They were here a few months ago. That means…"

"COOKIES" yelled Beast Boy and Cyborg together.

"Wonderful!" exclaimed Starfire, "The cookies of scouts of girls are marvelous delicacies. The mints are especially tasty after being dunked in Worstershire sauce." That stopped everyone in their tracks.

"Worstershire sauce?" said Robin. He looked a little pale at the thought. "Most humans dunk cookies in milk."

"Then what is the purpose of Worstershire sauce?" asked Starfire, confused.

"I've been trying to figure that one out myself for a while now." Said Raven. "Why do we even have it in the tower anyway?"

"I just assumed it came with the tower, sort of like the air conditioner." Ventured Beast Boy. " Come on, that girl scout is getting away!" Beast Boy, Cyborg and Starfire all rushed for the door. Both Raven and Robin looked at each other with long-suffering expressions.

"Guys! No one said it was a girl scout!" shouted Robin. "They never listen. Just once, for a change of pace, it would be nice if they listened. Why can't they check the monitor? It could be Control Freak or Dr. Light or…."

"Robin, get a grip. Do you REALLY think any of them would ring the doorbell before attacking us?"

Robin looked at Raven for a moment, then said under his breath, "Well, it could happen."

"Maybe I should start throwing you against the wall instead of Beast Boy." Muttered Raven.

Meanwhile, the other three Titans were making their way to the front door. This was a little difficult as the front door was seldom used. Most of the time, the Titans left either through the window (usually Beast Boy, unintentionally, assisted by Raven), through the garage using the T-car or through the roof. In fact, sometimes they had difficulty remembering where the front door actually was.

In any case, the three finally made their way to the door. This time it really was fortunate that Beast Boy reached it first as he just opened it (Cyborg would have torn it off its hinges and Starfire would have blasted it.).

"Yo, we'll take 20, no, 40 boxes of……" Beast Boy's voice slowly stopped. "Hey! You're not a girl scout! You're some old dude!" Cyborg promptly wacked him along side of his head.

"Bro, just once can't you be polite. Good morning sir, is there something we can help you with?"

Rather than an 11 year old girl with boxes of cookies, at the door stood an elderly gentleman. He was well dressed in a tweed coat. He looked to be about 55 years old, graying but with some black hair remaining, a small neatly trimmed beard and mustache. He actually looked like your stereotypical college professor.

"Ah, good morning? Were you expecting someone else? I can come back later today."

"No my friend whose name I do not know. I am sorry about Beast Boy, he was hoping for some cookies of girl scouts and thought you were selling them." Starfire replied.

" Oh. Well, ah, in that case, ah, this is the Teen Titans Tower, is it not?"

"DUDE, who else would be dumb enough to live in a giant T on an island where anyone can find them?" shouted Beast Boy, who was still upset that there wasn't a girl scout selling cookies at the door.

"Humpf. Well, I suppose. Is Robin at home and might I be able to speak with him?"

"Certainly." Replied Cyborg. "I'm sure Robin would be happy to speak with you. Who are you?"

"I am Dr. Jacob McElroy, Professor of Biology at Jump City University." (Hey, he really is a stereotypical college professor.) "I am here on a matter of some urgency and need to speak with Robin as soon as possible."

"Friend Doctor, I would be most happy to bring you to see Robin. Would you please step inside?" Despite her mangled syntax, Starfire was always unfailingly polite. Sometimes this became a problem in battles as she would sometimes forget the situation and ask the villain if she could hit him. Once, a bank robber said no and she sat over in the corner of the bank to wait for the fight to be over before rejoining her teammates. It took a while for Robin to convince her that it wasn't really rude to hit someone committing a crime, but occasionally she backslid and forgot.

The four made their way to the common room.

"Bad news Robin, no girl scout cookies." Beast Boy shouted out. "Just this doctor dude who isn't even selling cookies. Hey! Are you selling cookies, I forgot to ask."

"Ah, no son, I'm sorry, but I'm not selling any cookies."

"Bummer." Beast Boy went over to the sofa and sulked. Raven gave his a look of disgust. Couldn't he act his age occasionally? What 15 year old was constantly and unfailingly clueless?

"Robin," said Cyborg. "This is Dr. McElroy from Jump City U. Apparently, he has a problem that he needs to discuss with you."

"Well Dr. McElroy, anything the Titans can do to assist you we'd be glad to do. Are you being threatened or has someone close to you been kidnapped?" Robin said.

"No. No, nothing along those lines. The problem, as Cyborg mentioned, is more of a professional nature. Actually, it's more of a missing person situation."

"Missing person?" asked Starfire. "Are you attempting to correct your aim? We can certainly assist you in attempting to hit someone, we are very good at that." Dr. McElroy looked confused. Almost as confused as Starfire. It took Robin a moment or so to decipher what Starfire meant.

"Umm, Starfire, when someone on earth refers to a missing person, they mean that the person has gone missing and needs to be found. Not that they keep missing the person. Doctor, who is missing?"

"Well, that's part of the problem, we don't know. Perhaps I should begin at the beginning."

"What a novel approach." Muttered Raven sarcastically.

"You are, of course, familiar with Albert Einstein."

"Dude, even I know Einstein is dead. If you're looking for him, we can't help you." Interrupted Beast Boy.

"No, that's not what I mean. If I could be allowed to speak without interruption, please."

"BEAST BOY, SHUT UP!" shouted Raven, Robin and Cyborg. Beast Boy sunk back into the couch, sulking and muttering.

"Humpf. Well, to continue. Perhaps you are aware of Einstein's work in 1905?"

All of the Titans looked confused, other than Robin. What did this have to do with a missing person?

"1905 was Einstein's miracle year. He published four papers that revolutionized physics and science." Robin answered smugly.

"Quite correct my boy." Said Dr. McElroy. ("Show off" muttered Cyborg) "The reason why I bring this up is that a similar situation is occurring now in the field of biology and physiology. Two papers have recently been published that are revolutionary is scope and are years beyond anything currently being worked on."

All of the Titans looked suitably impressed, even Beast Boy's ears twitched and eyebrows were raised.

"That's tremendous news" said Raven. "Anything that advances learning and science is a benefit. How come his work has not been publicized more widely."

"Well, actually, in scientific circles it has been widely publicized. However, generally before the community makes these things widely known to the public, we like to evaluate the data behind the work and examine it for errors. We certainly don't need quacks and fakes taking up our time."

"Wait a minute" said Cybory. "I thought you said this was revolutionary stuff. Now you're saying it could be a quack or a fake?"

"Oh, we don't really believe that. The work is too elegant, too detailed. No, this is more along the lines of crossing t's and dotting I's. We really need to see HOW he did it so that we can proceed."

"Well doctor, why do you not ask him?" said Starfire.

"We don't know who he is or where he lives."

"Hence, the missing person." Stated Robin. "I presume you want us to find him. Do you know anything about him at all? Is it even a him? Where did the papers come from?"


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own, nor will I ever own, the Teen Titans. Although I do own a few of their comic books. OK, I own a lot of their comic books, satisfied. Oh, I also own dvds of all five seasons. And am extremely annoyed at a lack of a sixth season.

OK, I own more than a lot of their comics. My collection goes back more years than I care to remember. Please don't depress me, I'm trying to write humor.

Hidden Talents - Part 3

"Where did the papers come from?" repeated Dr. McElroy. "Well, we were rather hoping you could help us with that."

"You don't even know where the papers came from?" Cyborg shouted. " Come on, man, we need more than that."

"Cyborg, calm down please." Said Robin. "I'm afraid, though, that his point is well taken. If you have no idea where these papers came from, there's very little we can help you with."

"Actually Robin, we do have a few clues. And I use the word clues deliberately, acceding to your detective abilities." Responded Dr. McElroy. "In fact, I have two items that, I believe, should help you considerably. The first are the initials LMG."

"LMG?" repeated Robin. "What is LMG?"

"The author's initials. Or at least how he signed his papers."

"GUYS, this is boring!" interrupted Beast Boy. "This guy hasn't been kidnapped or anything. We should be doing real hero stuff. You know, stopping bank robbers, rescuing cats from trees."

"Beast Boy, can't you look further than simple heroics? This could be extremely important to mankind." Raven responded with her normal monotone. "We don't always have to stop bad guys."

"No, we could rescue kittens from trees. Tell you what Rae, let's practice, you can save me." With that, Beast Boy changed into a sparrow and flew to the ceiling. He perched himself in one of the light fixtures and changed into a kitten. With that, he began meowing furiously and loudly.

At first, the other Titans tried to ignore him. Unfortunately, trying to ignore a howling cat is almost impossible (try it sometime). After a few moments, Raven shot one of her black energy bolts at the fixture, shattering it and sending the green kitten hurtling towards the floor. Beast Boy, startled, changed back into a human and started screaming. Before he hit, he changed back into a bird, flew up a few feet to get his bearings, then changed back to human.

"RAVEN! You could have killed me!"

"I thought cats always landed on their feet. Besides, you're down safely aren't you?" Raven responded with just a hint of a smirk.

"What if I was a real cat? This was supposed to be practice in saving kittens from tall trees!"

"Oh, well then I would have been more careful." Raven said.

"Are they always like that?" asked Dr. McElroy. "I can't tell, do they like each other or not?"

Robin responded with a sigh of the long suffering. "Yes, they are ALWAYS like that. And as for whether or not they like each other, the jury's out." Privately, Robin thought to himself, of course they like each other, they REALLY like each other. He just wasn't going to embarrass them in front of strangers. Among themselves, he would embarrass the heck out of them.

"So," said Robin, returning to the subject, "we have a set of initials, LMG, that, I presume were to signify the author of the papers. While that helps somewhat, the sheer number of people with those initials, assuming those ARE his initials, is legion. It really doesn't help us much."

"Ah, but this is where I believe I can give you something else to go on. You see, this LMG did not mail his papers to us. He used e-mail."

"Hello!" interjected Cyborg. "If we can get access to the original e-mail, I can use the Titan's computer to try to trace the source of the e-mail back to their original location. Then if we cross reference the location against those individuals who had access to the computer, we can see who has the initials LMG." Cyborg was starting to get excited himself. Anything that involved the technological aspects of detective work fired his imagination. He was itching to get a hold of the e-mail.

" Yes, that sounds logical." Mused Robin. "I'm curious, though, why didn't you try that yourselves, Doctor?"

" We did. Quite frankly, the encryption on the e-mail is extremely sophisticated. Our university computers simply do not have the power to get through the various codes and firewalls set up between the e-mail and the source." Dr. McElroy looked rather chagrined. "That's why I'm here. I was hoping to be able to have you use your more powerful systems and your greater skills to succeed where we failed."

"Lemme at 'em." Exclaimed Cyborg.

"Wait a minute! Should we be doing this?" While a note of caution was generally sounded sometime during discussions of this nature, it was either Robin or Raven who stated it. This usually gave the team pause so that they could reflect for a moment before rushing into a situation before fully understanding it.

This time, it was Beast Boy who said it.

That alone stopped everyone in their tracks.

"Excuse me, Beast Boy, but, I am not sure I understand what you mean?" asked Starfire.

"I admit, I'm a little stunned myself." Said Robin. "What do you mean should we be doing this?"

"Dudes, according to this doc, this guy has put mega-encryptions on his e-mails, not signed his work except with funky initials, and has not responded to anything asking him to reveal himself. Obviously, he doesn't want to be found. Why should we look for him then?"

"Beast Boy! Even for you this outlandish." Responded Raven. "This is a chance to not just do ordinary crime fighting, but to make a major impact on science and history. We owe it to the world."

"Rae, we owe this guy respect! He obviously wants to keep his privacy and we should respect it!"

Robin leaned over to Cyborg. "Did I just hear that? Did BB just make a case for respecting privacy?"

"I think we are both hearing things."

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT PRIVACY!!" shouted Raven. Three lightbulbs blew and one of the chairs took on a black glow and began to rise. "AFTER YOU'VE INVADED MY PRIVACY TIME AND AGAIN….."

"Raven, control yourself." Shouted Robin. Raven, with very obvious difficulty, turned away from BB and moved to the other side of the room. In the background, you could hear her saying her mantra, trying to get her emotions back under control. The floating chair slowly began to sink back to the floor.

"Working with you Titans can be quite…..interesting." stated Dr. McElroy.

"Birdboy, all I'm saying is that this guy obviously doesn't want to be found." Beast Boy continued.

"BB, for you of all people to talk about privacy issues is incredible." Robin responded.

"Look Rob, I know I bug all of you. That's different. We're all teammates, family. There are some lines even I won't step over, much. This guy's unknown. He doesn't want to be found. I say we vote."

Robin stepped back in surprise. This was highly unusual for Beast Boy. Generally, he went along with most everything the group said. "OK, we vote. I say we look for him."

"That makes two." Responded Cyborg.

"Friends, I'm sorry. I have to vote not to search for this LMG. If someone truly does not want to be found and wants to be left alone, then we should do so. It is only respectful. I vote with Beast Boy." Said Starfire.

"Raven," said Robin, "it's up to you."

Raven had gotten her composure back. In her familiar monotone, "This is far too important to be left alone. Perhaps it's hypocritical of me to say so, especially when I guard my privacy so much, but I think we should look for him."

"RAE, how could you?" shouted Beast Boy.

"Very well, Dr. McElroy." Robin said, turning to the doctor. "We will assist you. Do you have the e-mail?"

"If you would allow me to send an e-mail to my colleague at the University, I will have him forward the original e-mail to you here at the tower so you can get to work." Replied Dr. McElroy.

I am extremely grateful to the two reviewers who have responded to my work so far.

**Twilightumbreon12** – Thanks for your comments. I enjoy humor and as far as I'm concerned, every chapter should end with a cliffhanger.

**Novus Ordo Seclorum** – I am grateful for your comments. I've tried to plot out how the characters should act (and if they act out of character, it's for a reason). By the by, I've very much enjoyed your story Collateral Damage and am eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

Meanwhile, I would certainly welcome additional reviewers. I plan to complete the story regardless, but commentary would be nice. While I had some time this evening to put the next chapter together, unfortunately, this is somewhat unusual. I will definitely do at least one a week, more than one a week depends on circumstances. Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own, nor will I ever own, the Teen Titans. Although I do own a few of their comic books. OK, I own a lot of their comic books, satisfied. Oh, I also own dvds of all five seasons. And am extremely annoyed at a lack of a sixth season.

OK, I own more than a lot of their comics. My collection goes back more years than I care to remember. Please don't depress me, I'm trying to write humor.

Alright, you beat it out of me. I started reading them back in 85, so I actually remember Terra when she was REALLY in the Titans. Don't ask me how far back the collection actually goes.

Hidden Talents - Part 4

A short while later, the e-mail that Dr. McElroy mentioned appeared on the Titans inbox (no, I'm not giving it to you, it's private, for business reasons). Cyborg looked at it for a short while.

"Man, I think I'm gonna skip what the paper's about. This is a bit beyond me. Let's focus on the address for now." Cyborg muttered. He began to work on the e-mail, moving backwards through the system. "Whoa, this guy's systems are as good as ours. It might take me a while to work my way through the walls and encryptions." He began to concentrate on his task, enjoying the challenge.

The rest of the Titans settled down for a long wait. Raven began meditating (she was still getting her composure back after her flair up at Beast Boy.) Robin began some martial arts movements, just keeping himself limber and ready. What he was keeping ready for I don't know. It was move of a habit of his in lull times just go through the basic martial arts motions. Starfire flew over to the kitchen and began rummaging around. This was dangerous. When Starfire was bored, she would make pudding. Sometimes it was the pudding of gladness, sometimes it was the pudding of sadness. One time it was the pudding of "I have nothing to do so let's make some". The Titans had to replace all of the kitchen appliances after that one. She is under strict orders to never make that one again unless they intend to redecorate. Beast Boy was sitting on the coach sulking. Dr McElroy was looking over Cyborg's shoulder.

"Doc! Who is this guy? I've been tracking his post all over the place. It's even been bounced off one of the JLA's satellites, and NO ONE messes with them. Sheesh, this guy is doing stuff I would be doing, if I needed to hide my e-mails." Cyborg said.

"Will you be able to track him?" asked Dr. McElroy. So far, he was extremely impressed. The Titans had already been able to track LMG's trail farther than the University computer scientists had.

"Yea, I'm not done yet. Hold on. HAH, got him. Broke through one firewall…..he's…..in JUMP CITY. Cool, we can get him quick. Let's see if I can get it focused tighter. OK…Jump City…..he's…..huh." Cyborg sat back baffled. "That doesn't make sense…."

"Cyborg, what's up?" Interjected Robin. Even while training, he was paying attention to Cyborg's progress. Once everything stopped, he ceased his training to focus again on the mystery.

"Rob, this doesn't make sense…according to this, the e-mail came from Titan's Tower."

"HAH! You got pwned!" shouted Beast Boy. "Dude, obviously this guy has some funky bounce back program that sent you back here if you got too close. Cyborg got pwned. Cyborg got pwned." Beast Boy started chanting.

Ignoring Beast Boy, Robin asked Cyborg, "Look, you've been tracking him all over. Could he have sent you on a wild goose chase? Is there a side path you could take?"

"Rob, I swear, there was NO where this e-mail could come from other than here. This guy's better than me. I couldn't find anywhere else that e-mail could come from." Cyborg fell into a deep gloom. He was good as his job and didn't like failing. Actually, he didn't like admitting that there were things he couldn't do. Since the accident that turned him into a cyborg, he was very sensitive about admitting failure.

Raven moved over to Dr. McElroy. "I'm sorry doctor. Cyborg is our expert in computer tracking and operations. If he can't find this LMG, then I'm afraid we are unable to help you."

"I'm sorry too." Replied Dr. McElroy. "You Titans were our last chance to find this man. You can't possible realize how important this is to the scientific community." The doctor had sunk into an even deeper gloom than Cyborg.

Cyborg continued to give apologies to Dr. McElroy. Starfire moved over from the kitchen to also give apologies and off the doctor some pudding of disappointment (both Raven and Cyborg suggested he decline, which he did, politely.) Meanwhile, Robin stood in front of the computer monitor with his head down, his right hand covering his chin, thinking furiously.

"Well, Titans. Thank you for your assistance. I'm sorry you were not able to track LMG down. I suppose I should be on my way now." Dr. McElroy said in a rather dejected tone.

"We are sorry too friend doctor." Said Starfire. "Are you sure you do not want any pudding of disappointment?" Behind her, both Cyborg and Raven were waving their hands wildly to signify no.

"Ah…Thank you very much Starfire. But I'm afraid I must be going."

"Doctor," interrupted Robin. "Before you go, could you answer one quick question for me? Without going into the extreme scientific details that would be beyond a layman, what were the papers that LMG wrote actually about?"

Dr. McElroy was confused. "Well, ah, it's rather difficult to reduce it to layman's terms. I suppose the best description would be that they dealt with the similarities between humans as a species and animals, specifically the electro-chemical forces that underlie brainwaves showing the similarities between the two. It's really remarkable in that is advances Darwin's work immeasurably and shows a tremendous similarity between the two."

Robin's face exhibited the self-satisfied look he often showed when a puzzle had been solved. Basically, the left corner of his mouth twitched up as a half smile. "Yes, that explains it. That's the last piece of the puzzle. Doctor, would you please stay here for another moment or so."

With that, Robin moved over to Beast Boy. Beast Boy looked to both sides, wondering what was going on.

"OK BB, fess up. What's going on?"

"What are you talking about?" Beast Boy looked puzzled, although he still had that hunted look about him.

"OK, we'll do this the hard way. First off, the e-mail came from Titan's tower. Cy's too good at computers to be fooled by some type of 'bounce back' program that you suggested."

"Second, you've been trying to sabotage this since the beginning. First with the kitten in the light, then with the vote not to investigate, then, finally, your very quick attempt to claim that Cyborg had been pwned. Every step of the way, at a crucial juncture, you've tried to stop this investigation as subtly as possible."

"Third, these papers have been related to animal human similarities, something, I believe, you have some experience with."

"Finally, the initials of the author are LMG. Reverse them and you get GML. GML, by an amazing coincidence, happen to stand for."

"Garfield"

"Mark"

"Logan"

"Your real name." finished Robin.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own, nor will I ever own, the Teen Titans. Although I do own a few of their comic books. OK, I own a lot of their comic books, satisfied. Oh, I also own dvds of all five seasons. And am extremely annoyed at a lack of a sixth season.

OK, I own more than a lot of their comics. My collection goes back more years than I care to remember. Please don't depress me, I'm trying to write humor.

Alright, you beat it out of me. I started reading them back in 85, so I actually remember Terra when she was REALLY in the Titans. Don't ask me how far back the collection actually goes.

Fine, have it your way. I actually remember when Gnaark was introduced. That's right, he actually appeared in the comics waaaaay back in the late 60s. (Told ya I was too old for this.)

Hidden Talents - Part 5

Beast Boy remained silent.

Dr. McElroy looked confused. Cyborg's jaw dropped roughly two feet (an exaggeration, I know, but that's how it looked.) Starfire also looked confused.

Raven, on the other hand, had the most extreme reaction. She started laughing.

Now, this wasn't her normal "humpfing" laugh. This was the kind of laugh you get when something completely out of left field hits you funny. The kind of laugh you can't stop from coming, nor can you stop once it hits. Have you ever had that kind of laugh? Where you simply can't STOP laughing? In between howls, Raven kept trying to say "Beast Boy?!? You're not, hah, serious!?!"

Normally, when this happens to someone, it's actually pretty funny for the viewers as well as the subject, as they often begin to join in and no one is actually able to stop. Unfortunately, it is difficult to join in when light bulbs start exploding and the TV screen bursts. Then the microwave melted. Then the coffee pot exploded. Most of the furniture was surrounded by a black glow and was flying (not floating, flying) around the room.

Robin did the only thing he could do. He ran for the refrigerator, grabbed a bottle of water (and a towel) and ran back to Raven. Opening the bottle, he splashed it into her face. He realized, you see, that telling someone NOT to laugh doesn't really work. Not like when you tell an angry person to calm down (sometimes). By this time, Raven was out of control and needed some outside stimulus to get her back under control. Once the water hit her, she immediately stiffened up and stopped laughing. "Thank you." Raven replied. "You realize, of course, I will have to make you pay for this indignity."

"Couldn't we just chalk it up to an accident during the course of business?" Robin began to look nervous.

"No, I'm afraid not. I have a reputation to think of. Still, it can be postponed while you explain yourself."

Although Robin tugged at his collar and began to sweat profusely, he replied gamely "Actually, it's not me that needs to explain himself, it's Beast Boy."

All the while, Beast Boy had been watching Raven quietly. The more she had laughed, the more upset he became. Finally, he had an extremely offended, insulted look on his face. Silently he walked over to Dr. McElroy and said,

"All right doctor. What do you want to know?"

If the Titans were flabbergasted before, they were completely stunned at this turn of events (except Robin, he was expecting this). Dr. McElroy responded, "What, you mean you really ARE LMG?"

"Yes" Beast Boy, for once, was not saying anything more than he had to.

"But, but, you're just a kid. Where did you get the educational background for this? Seeing you, where did you get the INTELLECT to be able to produce this kind of advanced work?"

"My parents were Mark and Marie Logan."

"That would do it." Dr. McElroy muttered. "Oh my…..may I sit down for a moment? This has been a bit of a shock."

"I am sorry friend doctor, "said Starfire, she flew a chair over to the professor immediately. "Why is friend Beast Boy's parents such a shock? Why did that seem to explain the situation to you?"

"You don't understand. In the scientific community, the Logans are legend. Their work is almost on a par with the Curies. They were short listed for a Nobel. Personally, I believe the reason they never got one was that the committee couldn't decide whether they should get it for Medicine or for Chemistry. Why, if Mr. Logan here has half the intellect of his parents, he would certainly be capable of producing the papers we received."

"Yo' BB, you mean your parents were scientists?" shouted Cyborg.

"No, they were plumbers. They made a cure for Sakutia out of Drano and banana peels." Replied Beast Boy in a rather surly tone. He really didn't like to discuss his parents. While most of the memories were good, the last ones were among the worst of his life, if not the worst.

"Sorry man, I just assumed they were, like, missionaries. Being in Africa and all."

"No, they were studying animal DNA, that's how they were able to synthesize a formula to keep me from dying."

"But," interrupted Dr. McElroy. "The entire family died in a boating accident. There are no records of any survivors and all of the Logan work papers have disappeared."

"I lived. I don't want to talk about it." Replied Beast Boy. "As for the papers, I have them."

"YOU HAVE THE LOGAN JOURNELS!!!" shouted Dr. McElroy, jumping out of his seat. "WHERE ARE THEY? WHAT'S IN THEM?"

Robin went over to the doctor. "Please calm yourself. Would you like some water?"

"WATER?!? WHEN THE LOGAN JOURNELS HAVE BEEN FOUND!?! ARE YOU……" Dr. McElroy took a couple of deep breaths. "Yes, perhaps I should have some water, yes, water, most definitely."

Starfire flew over to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. She flew back to the doctor and splashed it in his face.

"Ah, Starfire. I believe he meant to drink the water." Robin said.

"But, did you not do that to Raven when she was upset? Our friend the doctor also seemed most upset."

"Yes, but he was getting himself under control. I'm sorry doctor, I'm afraid that Starfire does not always understand the circumstances and what needs to be done." Still, Robin looked over at Starfire with a very fond (loving?) gaze. "Even so, she means well." This took a bit of the sting out of his rebuke and Starfire blushed.

"Quite all right my boy." Gasped Dr. McElroy, "It may have done me some good even so."

"Well, if that's all, I'll just be heading out." Said Beast Boy.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" shouted Robin in full leader voice. "WE'RE NOT DONE WITH YOU!"

Beast Boy bowed his head, folded his arms and started muttering to himself.

I thought originally I would finish it up with this chapter. However, the explanations and events began to expand and I'm barely 1/3rd of the way through it. This seems like a good stopping point until I get to the next phase of what's going on. At a minimum, there will be one more chapter, possibly two (believe me, you'll recognize when the story is over.)

Meanwhile, while I do wish there were more reviews (I'm very vain), I'm grateful that at least some folks are reading my story. My thanks to **Novus Ordo Seclorum** for his kind comments. (I'm sure by now you realize you were correct regarding LMG. It's the old Gilligan's Island problem. How do you have a mystery with a limited number of characters?) Even so, there are plenty of more answers, mysteries and shouting to come.


	6. Chapter 6

Let's stay focused for once. I do not own, nor will I ever own, the Teen Titans.

Hidden Talents - Part 6

"Doctor, if you would like to continue."

"Yes, yes," said Dr. McElroy, finally getting his composure back. "I assume that you used your parent's journals as the basis for your studies. Where is your data, where are your test animals."

"Dude," exclaimed Beast Boy, "what makes you think I would ever put animals through testing. That's a terrible, cruel thing to do to poor, innocent animals!"

"But, then how…." Before his eyes, Beast Boy quickly changed forms, first a rabbit, then a goat, then a lion, then resuming his normal shape. "All right, that explains the test animals, sort of. But, your work involves measuring similarities between humans and animals, how could you do this without corrupting the data? You don't have the same brain patterns as these animals. Do you?"

"Yea, that was a problem. You see, depending on how far I take the change, I can take on more of the animal's traits and instincts. Normally, I just do a "basic" change where I have the animal's body and all of my mind. When I need some of the instincts, I transfer more of my mind into the animal's mind. At the other extreme, I can make the change all the way to the point of completely eliminating my human traits. The problem then is that I'm not able to change back until I fall asleep and resumed my normal form."

"But Beast Boy," inquired Robin, "we've seen you sleep in an animal form. Why would you need to fall asleep to change back?"

"Some animals are 'light' sleepers at times, dogs, for instance; they have a light sleep and stay aware of their surroundings as a means of protection. If I go into a light sleep, I'm still controlling my shape with my mind and able to both sleep and stay aware of things going on. When I go into a 'real' sleep, my mind moves back to its default state and returns my body to normal. That's also why I change back when I get knocked out. Even being stunned will momentarily make me lose my concentration and my mind will shift my body back."

"Anyway, the other big problem with changing all the way would be that I also wouldn't be able to measure my brainwaves and electrical systems."

"Hey, how did you do that anyway?" asked Cyborg. "You can barely operate the gamestation. I can't believe you created some neurological analyzer."

"Cy, come on. You've got all those cool gizmos in the lab and the infirmary. I didn't have to make anything. I just used yours. By the way, your backup brainwave gizmo is broken."

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THOSE!" Cyborg yelled. "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO PUT THAT TOGETHER?"

"Robin," whispered Starfire, "should I not get the water now?" Robin shook his head. He wanted to see where this was going.

"Anyway," continued Beast Boy, "I just put myself in that glass cage we have in the lab for specimans, attached the gizmos and then made the change all the way."

"Beast Boy, that still doesn't explain how you changed back." Asked Raven, now she was curious.

"Oh, yeah. I set up a timer on one of the electric shock thingees. I had to be kind of careful so that I used enough juice to stun me in my animal form without electrocuting myself. Took a long time to get all of the charges right."

"Well," mused Robin, "that explains the increase in the electric bill over the past few months."

"Very well," said Dr. McElroy, "that explains your primary data of comparison between humans and animals. Where's your control group?"

"Hey, that was no problem. Cyborg is completely human and is already hooked up to most of these machines. I just used him as one of the group." Cyborg looked stunned.

"Beast Boy," said Raven in a low and dangerous voice, "you better not have used me."

"NO, I DIDN'T", shouted Beast Boy, "Your mixed parentage means you're not 100% human and for the control group I need regular people. That's why I couldn't use Starfire either, she's Tameranean. Let's see, I also used Speedy when he was visiting last month."

"Beast Boy" said Robin.

"I tried Aqualad, but his Atlantean physiology is different from regular humans."

"Beast Boy" said Robin, louder.

"I also used Control Freak, Dr. Light and Gizmo, after we captured them and had them locked up downstairs. They're all human and with a little anesthesia, I was able to measure their brainwave patterns."

"BEAST BOY!" shouted Robin. "I noticed you didn't mention me at any time. Don't tell me…."

Beast Boy turned into a green guinea pig and twitched his nose at Robin.

"YOU USE ME AS A GUINEA PIG!!" Robin lunged at Beast Boy. Fortunately, Starfire was just as quick and grabbed him. While Robin was strong, Starfire was stronger. Normally, Robin was calm enough to be able to use his agility and martial arts ability to escape almost anyone holding him. However, in his current condition, he wasn't entirely rational enough to make use of them.

"Starfire, let go! I'm going to pound him into guacamole!" Robin shouted. Beast Boy, in guinea pig form, was currently dancing in front of him, waving his front paws in the air. He knew, at least he hoped, Starfire was not going to let him go.

"Please Robin, you cannot hurt Beast Boy when he is a cute, furry little creature." She implored. Robin by this time was snarling and almost foaming at the mouth to get to Beast Boy. "He does not seem to be calming down. Would this not be the appropriate time for water?"

"Why Starfire, what an excellent idea," purred Raven, "please allow me." Raven's eyes narrowed and she got a positively evil smile on her face. Using her energy magic, she opened the cold water tap in the kitchen full blast and, again with her magic, channeled the water straight at Robin. Although his focus was entirely on stomping Beast Boy, Starfire saw the water coming and flew away from the oncoming stream.

It hit Robin square in the face, knocking him back about ten feet.

"Why Robin," Raven said in as sweet a voice as she could manage, "please calm down." She let the water soak him for about 20 seconds, then said in her normal monotone, "I told you I would get even."

Meanwhile, Beast Boy had resumed his normal form. He and Cyborg were laughing hysterically. "Birdboy got a birdbath!" giggled Beast Boy.

Raven stopped the flow towards Robin (who finally was able to catch his breath) and, before returning the water to the sink, soaked Beast Boy momentarily.

Beast Boy changed into a dog, shook himself dry, and changed back.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"General principle."

OK, Looks like I'm going to have one, final chapter. Thought originally I'd squeeze it all here, but I've got a couple of more revelations coming that need to be set up.

Meanwhile, once again my thanks to my reviewers:

Novus Ordo Seclorum – Glad you are enjoying this. BB is my favorite character and I understand the duality of his nature, moving between comedy and tragedy. It's easy to move him between the two because of his nature. I agree, once you understand that Starfire is culturally naïve, NOT stupid, you can utilize her personality for a number of situations. (PS, nice to see Collateral Damage back on track, like many others, I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter.)

Batamut – Agreed, she probably would understand. However, it is such a convention now in these stories to say "fast of break" that I felt I couldn't break tradition.

The normalfreak – Glad you're enjoying it. Humor is supposed to rock. Here's another chapter, with one final one to go.

Should post within the week.


	7. Chapter 7

OK, for the last time, I do not own the Teen Titans.

* * *

Hidden Talents – Part 7

"Man, how did you manage to get ol' traffic light in your group," inquired Cyborg. He knew he could ask this while Robin was gasping for breath.

"Took a little work. Sneaking in was no problem, but I had to give him a touch of gas to keep him out while I was measuring his brainwaves. Just in case, I had a pink cape."

"Huh?" Cyborg, and everyone else, looked confused.

"I mean I had a pink copy of Robin's cape. That way it would look like I was pranking him if he ever woke up." Smirked Beast Boy.

"Hold on Beast Boy," said Raven, "I remember he came out one morning with a pink cape. Does that mean he caught you?"

"Naw, he never woke up. But why waste a good prank. After the week it took me to get his full measurements, I just switched his cape anyway."

"OHHH, that cape was marvelous," squealed Starfire, "I asked Robin why he changed his costume and was he going to maintain his new color scheme. It looked soooooo cute. He turned a funny color after that."

"I'll bet," muttered Raven.

Meanwhile, Dr. McElroy was trying to get his composure back. Being with the Titans was starting to be more than he could handle. The image of Robin, leader of the Titans, defender of Jump City, in a pink cape really was an amusing image.

By this time, Robin had not only regained his breath, he had regained his composure. While he knew pounding Beast Boy would give him some momentary satisfaction (and a warm feeling for weeks to come), he knew it wouldn't be right. Besides, BB was too good at escaping after all the practice Raven gave him. "All right, Fine!" Robin snarled, still not particularly happy. "You've got your tests and your control group. Even if you did use us and human crooks for it. What made you publish and why hide your identity?"

"Who cares why he published, he did." Exclaimed Dr. McElroy. "Mr. Logan, we really need to see that data and your work papers. Given your rather, ah, unorthodox methods, it is becoming even more imperative that the scientific community evaluates your work."

"OK, OK, I only published because I thought someone might be interested in what I found. I didn't see anything else out there that that looked like it, and I didn't want anyone to know it was me. I was afraid Robin would be mad for using the equipment. Besides, this whole project has been a complete bust anyway and I'm ready to give it up. You can have the info."

"Hold on, Mr. Logan." Dr. McElroy was confused again, as were the Titans. "What do you mean your project was a bust? What do you mean you're going to stop your research?"

"Beast Boy," asked Raven, "what were you trying to do anyway?"

"I'm trying to show that animals and people have the same types of feelings and emotions."

Now Dr. McElroy was even more confused. "But, then why were you focused on the electrical connections in the brain? Many, if not most, of the emotions are triggered by glandular secretions and their effect on the brain. Your interest in the chemical components seemed relegated merely to the chemical synapses that fired the electrical brain charges."

"Huh? You mean emotions come from chemicals in your blood and glands?" Beast Boy looked at Raven.

She nodded. "Yes, Beast Boy, many emotional reactions are triggered by glands in concert with the electrical impulses."

"Oh" Beast Boy looked stunned for a moment or so. Then he looked thoughtful. "Hey Robin! Can I borrow your chemistry set?"

"No."

"Please?"

"NO."

"Pretty Pleeese?"

"NO!"

"Pretty Please with sugar on top and a cherry?"

"NO!! Last time you used the chemistry set you blew up the tower." Robin yelled.

"Dude, it was only two rooms and only the once."

"We only let you use it once."

At this exchange, Dr. McElroy had a look of horror on his face. He was starting to get a very good understanding of Beast Boy's nature and the thought of him with a chemistry set was rather frightening.

"Don't worry," said Cyborg to the doctor, "I have the chemistry equipment under lock and key."

"Did you also have the medical and electronic equipment under lock and key as well?" he inquired.

Cyborg's smile dropped off his face immediately and he began to take on a look of horrified panic.

"Beast Boy, I am curious," began Starfire. "While I understand what you were trying to do. I do not understand why you were trying to show that human beings and animals have the same emotions?"

"Oh, that's easy. If I can show that animals feel the same emotions as people, I can convince Cyborg not to eat meat. I've been trying to convince him using morals and it's not working. Maybe with scientific proof he'll give up meat."

"Excuse me, Mr. Logan," interrupted Dr. McElroy. "Do you mean to say you started this whole project just to stop your friend from eating meat??"

"Dude, you've never seen him! He eats meat constantly. He's responsible for the death of thousands of cows, pigs and chickens. I gotta do something. If he goes on, he'll murder millions more."

Dr. McElroy's hands began to tremble. "I believe I shall sit down again."

Starfire began to laugh with merriment. Cyborg was muttering to himself, "Not going to eat that tofu junk!"

Robin's shoulders slumped and he put his head down into his right hand. He started shaking his head and saying, "Why me? What have I done to deserve this?"

And Raven, Raven stared at Beast Boy for a long moment then gave a sigh. In her normal, monotone drawl she said,"

"Thaaat's our Beast Boy."

* * *

And with that, I believe it is time to leave our heroes, at least for this story. For those of you who have been reading this, Thank you. I have a couple of other ideas for stories that I will be working on, more focused on romance and adventure rather than humor. (Finally got the horizontal ruler to work.)

As for my reviewers, my very humble thanks for your comments.

Novus Ordo Seclorum – Again my thanks for understanding the duality of his nature. He may be unwittingly intelligent, but he's still the same old BB.

Flood125 – Needed a way to explain why he reverts when he gets hit or knocked out, yet still can sleep as an animal. Glad you liked the explanation.

Akumakami64 – Thank you for your kind words. Glad to see your Khimera story has been updated (Now there's someone who has put depth into Beast Boy's mind.) I've enjoyed it very much.


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